I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It was a blind-side dick pic.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
