Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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