I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
