Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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