my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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