I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
