she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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