In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
