Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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