who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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