she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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