I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
