I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
