Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
