I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
