Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
