My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
