So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
