I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Randomize
