I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
