Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
