I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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