stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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