sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
