Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
