her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
