I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
