I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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