Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
