dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I party with great urgency now.
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