Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
