Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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