No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My breasts were aching with rage.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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