guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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