never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
True strength comes from lack of pants
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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