I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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