idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
