Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
