Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
