i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
