This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
