soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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