the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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