Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I need moral support for this bender
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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