Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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