Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Fuck appropriateness.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
