How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
