I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
