I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize
