Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
